The Lehman version of this wasn't so cute.

Time from Pete receiving first tooth fairy payout to devising scheme to put fake (paper) teeth under his pillow to fool TF: 11 hours.

Bad science, great poetry

Pete, beholding a bonfire: "I wonder whether sparks make fireflies!"

Division of labor

Off to Pete's first piano recital. His job: enjoy the experience and play the best "Sleepy Alligator" he can play. Mine: monetize it.

You just never know.

Another one--

Pete: Papa, I’m happy that I’m alive.
Papa: Oh, Pete, I'm so glad.
Pete: Even though there are some parts of my body that I’ll never see.

(pause)

Papa: Well, yes. I hope there are some parts of your body that you’ll never see.
Pete: Like my bones.

(pause)

Pete: Because if I saw my bones, I would be a ghost or a zombie.

(pause)

Or a spirit.

You can't say he lacks self-awareness.

Pete has a way of tilting his head and raising his eyebrows when he's trying to get you on board with one of his ideas. This morning:

Pete wakes up. (This is 7:20am, so he has slept in a little. I, alas, have been up for a while.)

"MOM AND POP, COULD SOMEONE COME IN TO SEE ME?"

Erik goes into his room.

Erik: "Hey, Pete, what's up?"

Pete: "I was wondering if it's time when I could get up and maybe go downstairs and (head tilt, eyebrow raise) have some oatmeal?"

Erik, laughing: "Sure, Pete."

Pete thinks. Pete and Erik start to walk downstairs.

Pete: "Pop, I hadn't raised my eyebrows in a long time."

He calls 'em as he sees 'em.

from Carolyn

We were walking across Mac Field around 8:10 on Saturday morning. There was a table and chairs in the middle of the field,a two-liter bottle oddly upright in the grass, a backpack abandoned, random articles of clothes, beer cans/bottles, water bottles, and general detritus.

Pete: What’s all this?
Me: Well, on really nice days, the students like to—
Pete: POLLUTE???

And wonderfully zany comments from left field.

“I think that I’m built for running and skipping, pretty much.”

Disconcerting!

Pete on Easter preparations: "It's time to start DYEING! We have to start DYEING!"

I can't think of a snarky title for this.

Pete: "The Easter Bunny knows a lot about me, doesn't he? It's nice to have a friend like the Easter Bunny."

Some things should last forever but won't.

Pete has taken to using "the heck" as a general intensifier, placed willy-nilly in sentences, as in, this morning, "My shoe has a hole in it. It is really the heck hurting my foot."

Maybe Congressional deadlock isn't so bad after all.

Inspired by seeing the Cubs and Pirates (no, seriously) at Wrigley yesterday, Pete contemplated growing up to be a baseball player. Then he thought for another minute and remarked on all the choices he has about what to do. More thought. Then:

"When I grow up, I'm going to be a lawmaker, and I'm going to say, 'You can be naked in public.'"

Thoughtful smile.

"Heh-heh. Then everyone's going to be naked."

Parenting gets harder when kids get a clue.

Tonight was Pete's first tornado warning where he was old enough to understand exactly what was happening, both in the narrow sense that a tornado warning is a warning of a tornado and in the broad sense that our getting him out of bed and going to the basement together is very strange. He was such a tired, scared little thing. Turns out it's hard to explain how everything's totally OK when you are, come to think of it, acting as if your house could be swept off its foundations at any moment.

Milestones

from Carolyn

“Were you amazed that I didn’t have to hang on to the banister? I’m becoming one of you guys!”

Later: “Mom! In 4 years, I’ll be 10!”

Our boy's growing up.

Pete, upon hearing the alarm waking him for his sixth birthday: "All I want to do is go back to sleep!"

(He was plenty excited about 30 seconds later.)

As he gets older, the tough questions come.

Pete: "If a wooly caterpillar has one orange spot, how long will winter be?"

A boy who discerns the best things in life

I recently heard a non-Christian talking about how much she enjoyed the great traditional carols of the Christmas season, to the point where she wanted her kids to know that music, too. She contrasted these carols with the winter songs that kids sing in school now--the genre most eminently represented by "Frosty the Snowman."

I reported that person's comments to Carolyn and said that I love the traditional Christmas music as well, and I'm glad Pete is getting to know it. Overhearing this conversation, Pete raised his hand--obedient kindergartener that he is--and waited for me to finish the thought. When I did, he said, "I was thinking we should get the recording of dogs and cats singing the Sleigh Ride song."

He paused, then continued in a knowing, confidential tone: "It's VERY funny."

I admit, it WOULD be nice.

Pete had two expectations for the department's external review: first, that we would win; and second, that winning would involve receiving medals.

Is this my punishment for studying Adam Smith?

Pete told us over the weekend that he doesn't want to be a paleontologist after all. Instead, he wants to build robots that will dig up dinosaur bones and discover new species. By having the robots do the digging, he explained, he will have more time to write comic books.

Nowadays?

The Second Revelation of the Secret Books of Pete Simpson:

"Cheese sticks aren't so good nowadays."

(Scroll down a few posts for additional context.)

As Carolyn put it, "We are so doomed."

Richard Scarry book: "You can be a doctor or nurse."

Pete: I can't be a nurse. You have to be a woman to be a nurse.

Erik: Well, some men are nurses. Men and women can be doctors, and men and women can be nurses.

Pete: (skeptical look)

Erik: It's true that most nurses are women, but some are men, too.

Pete: Actually, I have secret books. And I was reading them, and one of them said only women can be nurses.

Erik: . . .

Pete: These books are real! And they can tell you about anything!