I interrupt the regular operation of this plan to bring you this Major Life Announcement (TM):
God willing, knock on wood, [insert caveats and good-luck charms from any tradition you like here],
Carolyn and I are having a baby! Yoikes!
OK, mostly Carolyn. And not right this minute--round about January sixth, we're told. (Epiphany, that is, a.k.a. the twelfth day of Christmas, a.k.a. the day on which "The Dead" takes place. That would be cool.)
That's right, folks, there's a bun in the oven! A duckling in the roaster! A rat in the dumpster--except good!
And my brother and his wife have a due date of December 24th, so my parents are facing the prospect of jumping from zero to two grandkids in a blink of the proverbial eye.
We've been advised not to discuss names with anyone, including our parents, but because you on Plans are our extra-special friends, I'll let you in on the fact that, regardless of the sex of the baby (we're not planning to find out--until the birth, I mean), we hope to name this and any subsequent children after minor characters from the Hardy Boys. Biff. Chet. Olive-skinned Tony (or Toni, perhaps).
I'm especially looking forward to having a baby because I figure my life will be a lot easier. I figure that after a few weeks of getting used to the outside world, the wee one will be able to help with low-lying housework: cleaning the floors, taking care of the cats, and so forth. Once those little fingers can make their way around a keyboard, I've got myself a new typist/editor! Score. Things are going to be nice and easy from here on out. Just you watch.